Monday, November 10, 2008

Estate of Elements

Have you ever gone somewhere and just really felt out of your element?

Yup, I have too. And Friday was no exception.

In fact my element was no where to be found on this periodic table of prestige I was privy to Friday night.

I accompanied by boss lady and bestest bud, Susan McCorkindale to a private book signing/party that was being held in her honor at an estate in Fauquier County.

The word estate and the fact that the home (I use this word loosely) did not have a number, just an entire street... should have clued me in to what I should expect.

So after getting lost amongst the guest houses for a bit, I finally find the driveway that lead up to the main mansion. Its gorgeous... I mean like gorgeous beyond belief. I walk up the stone front porch (again, porch does not seem like a sufficient word to describe the front - I am sure there is some fabulous french word that I should be calling it, but I have not clue what it is!)

The front door is decked out with an adorable sign that says "Please Come In" in every color in the Crayola box. So I open the front door... and whoa.

Now I have seen some beautiful homes. I have seen some damn big homes. But this one takes the cake. And the cupcake, and pie and any other confectionary delight you can think of.

I felt like I had just walked into an episode of MTV's Cribs and I was waiting for some rap star to come out and show me where he likes to "Chizzle". From where I stood in the foyer, I counted about five sitting rooms... and I had barely stepped my foot into the door.

I was trying to bring my jaw back up from the floor when I was greeted by the hostess and host and led into the kitchen. We aren't in Culpeper anymore, Toto.

I said very meekly, "What a beautiful home... "(understatement of the year)

I saw the smiling face of my sweet Suzie and felt a little more at ease. Now Suz is the type where she can fit in anywhere. No matter where you take her, she can make friends and talk to anyone. I thought I was kinda like that... kinda. Not so much Friday night.

The more guests that poured in, the more quiet I got. I was suppose to be there pushing tshirts, but I couldn't get any intelligent words to come out of my mouth.

There must have been sixty plus people. And they were all fabulous. And beautiful. And loaded. This was definitely the upper class that I am not usually in company with.

Now I don't consider myself a pauper or anything, and I can hold my own in a crowd. But I think it was just the sheer numbers of it all. I had just barely recovered from stepping into the Mansion on the Hill.... and then all these high-falutin couples come in... I suddenly became mute.

I kept looking longingly at the housekeeper, wondering if she wanted to be my friend?!

Now all these couples were lovely, and sweet... and they all introduced themselves to me too as they sat down to chat with Suzy. I never shook so many hands weighed down by so much carat weight in all my life!! And they were in their "casual attire"... which meant fur vests, APO jeans and Jimmy Choo boots. I sported my Fan Club Shirt, Lane Bryant Jeans (on sale for $39.99 because I had a coupon, and Payless boots - BOGO ofcourse!)

I found myself just sitting back... observing. There were so many different personalities in that room. It was amazing to watch and to listen. It was so funny to hear what they all talked about... how Buffy and Chancelor were doing in private school, what designers had the best look this fall, how my measly 60 acres compares to your expansive 500.

Wanna know what I talk about when I get together with my girlfriends? How much the kids annoy me... How I paid my Mastercard with my Visa last month... and how psycho drugs could probably do me some good...

Yeah, I was a LOT out of place.

Plus I totally sucked at my tshirt sales. As much money as this crowd was swimming in, I couldn't sell the shirts. I needed to. But I felt a little bit like Oliver Twist, "Please sir, by a tshirt". I didn't want sympathy buys... although in hindsight, if I had pushed the pauper angle, I probably would have made a killing!

So I left the party, having only sold a handful of tshirts and acting like a total ass. I mean it was so not me... I never get intimidated or quiet for that matter. I am know for my bubbly personality and always making friends. It failed me that night though.

I called my husband and told him about my night, describing all the people I had met (or rather just watched or listened to) and about this amazing mansion. He was so sweet. He could tell I was down and told me that no one in that room had anything on me. I was just really disappointed in myself - that I let status get the best of me.

To assauge my disappointment, I spent an hour wandering through Wal-Mart at midnight. Not Neiman Marcus, but it is my home away from home.

Suz could tell that I was not myself that night, and emailed me later to say "You have the right to be anywhere. You are just as good. Just as smart (probably smarter). And certainly just as beautiful as anyone else. Own that, and you will be fine. Let no one cow you. Got me?"

Yeah, who needs money and status when you have friends and family like I do?

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Welcome Home

I have been whining about missing Jazzercise for months now.

My move to Culpeper, as wonderful as it has been, has taken me away from my beloved Jazzercise studio in Haymarket and the wonderful group of woman I use to "get jiggy" with. (and I am almost certain my girls would die of embarrassment if I ever used that phrase outside of this blog)

The closest studio to Culpeper is Warrenton... which is at best, a 30 minute drive. For one reason or another, I just didn't have the drive to go there.

That is until I got news of the end-of-the-year special. Only $34 for the rest of the year... no registration fee either! Leave it to a bargain to kick me in the ass to get out and exercise!

So I did... Yesterday I went to Warrenton and jazzed my little heart out for an hour. The dances were new, and I stumbled for much of the glass... but I was smiling the whole time. Today my aching abs and gluts tell me it was worth the while too!

It was also nice to take Ryker to play... without him screaming for the entire hour. Yup, my little man is all grown up. When I started Jazzing last year, Ryker was only six months old. I was still breastfeeding too, which caused a whole other set of problems -- I had to nurse him right before class, double up on the bras for the gi-normous ta-tas, and usually did not make it through an entire class because he was screaming.

Yesterday, he just played and danced to the music he heard coming from the other room.

I was disappointed because I didn't make it back this morning. Ryker was running a fever and I didn't want to risk getting anyone sick.

But it feels good to be home. Well again, my abs don't think so... but my mind sure does.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

I Voted.

I voted this morning.

It may not seem like something out of the ordinary, but seeing as this is the first time I have ever voted in the 10 years I have been able to, it was pretty special.

To those of you who don't know me well enough, or perhaps don't know this little tidbit... I have no political opinion. I know its not something to be proud of, and I don't go around advertising it... but I do own it. I own the fact that I just don't care either way.


Yup. I said it. I don't care. I have tried to care. I have tried to watch the debates and read up on whats going on, but still nothing. I should be ashamed, right? Maybe so, but I'm not. I hate politics. Every bit of it. And frankly, I'm sick of trying to fake an interest.

I have heard it all before, so spare your comments. I know as a citizen, I should take pride in my right to vote and be the first in line to the polls so that I can have an effect on my future.

Frankly, I wasn't even going to vote at all. I had registered, simply because I checked a little box when I changed addresses at the DMV. But I had no intentions.

Until my husband bullied me into it last night. He gave me the "Good American Citizen... " speech and "Do you know people died for your right to vote?" Yup. Still nothing. I am devoid of that piece of patriotism for one reason or another. I guess I could blame it on poor breeding?!? Nope. As a union worker, my dad campaigned for the Democrats every chance he got. Hell... my mom is working the polls this year. They always exercised their right to vote.

I am in all forms, a political naysayer. I don't know what is missing in me. But whatever it is, it is still not there.

I got up this morning at 5:30. I looked at my clock and then a battle proceeded in my sleepy, cloudy, non-political mind for forty-five minutes. Sleep. Vote. Sleep. Be a good American. Sleep. Make my husband happy. Sleep. Vote.

Dammit. I got up. Not sure what reason drug me out of bed. Curiosity played a part in it. I had never done it before, whats is it all about?

So at 6:40 I pulled up to Culpeper Methodist Church, and almost turned right around. The line was ENORMOUS and spanned the entire parking lot. But I bit the bullet, grabbed my coffee and my pop tart and got in line.

And an hour and 45 minutes later, I stood before the computer to cast my vote. Touch, touch, touch, touch... and that was it. I voted.

I thought that I would have some great epiphany after I voted. Some overwhelming surge of American patriotism. A swelling of pride for doing my duty as a citizen. Still nothing.

So I walked away from the polls this morning with nothing. Well except my "I Voted" sticker that will get me a free cup of coffee at Starbucks later. Maybe not a complete waste after all.