Stuck in a hole.

Anyone that knows me well enough knows that I may not be... how should I say this... the absolute best driver. I tend to bump into things here and there. I get it honest though, my mom's van has seen more bumpers than a NASCAR vehicle!

I am also terrible at parking and backing up. Luckily my van is equipped with back up sensors that I am sure have saved a few pedestrians and mailboxes. I try though, honestly I try.

Yesterday I decided I would park behind the store because I had no parking pass and was already slapped with a parking ticket last week (oh, the joys of a small town). Doesn't sound too dangerous right? Well behind the store there is an alley and two spaces that are flanked by two very ominous brick walls. I had a hard enough time getting my van (which by the way is the widest on the market) into the space and straight. I honestly didn't have a clue how I was going to get it out.

When it was nearing closing time, I opened the back door to take stock of my situation.

Screwed.

The tenant above the store that owns the other parking space had slipped her SUV in (I have no clue how) at some point.

Remember now, there are walls on either side of us and a nice brick wall on the other side of a VERY NARROW alley. And let us not forget the fact that... well HELL... I'm not a good driver!

So while I am debating how I can airlift my van out or maybe just sleep in the back of the store for a night, a friend stops in to say hello. I show him my dire situation. And he laughs. Pretty much at me.

And after he is done laughing, he agrees to help try to rescue my wide-ass van from its tiny hole. And he spends about 10 minutes and completes what I believe to be a 94 point turn.

And voila... my van is free! And will never be parked back there again. Go ahead Town of Culpeper... feel free to ticket my illegally parked van that is comfortably situated in a VERY open space with no brick walls or oppressive SUV's!

I. Hate. The. Dentist.

So much that I haven't been in two years.

It is funny how much time can make you forget. Like after childbirth, you forget all about the agony you just went through when you look at that little smiling pudgy face.

I am writing this so I DO NOT FORGET. I hate the dentist. It is agony.

It is a sick and horrible chorus of drills and suction and scraping. It is the nauseating smell of latex gloves. The headache you get from squinting from the either the spotlight they shine on your mouth or to dodge the water sprays. The horrible taste of blood in your mouth. The white knuckles and numb toes from gripping within an inch of your circulation.

And it is the hygienist that smiles and politely asks while digging and prodding and making you bleed if you have been flossing. No bitch, that would be why you are scraping my soul out from between my teeth.

Thankfully the dentist pops in for a 60 second interruption to tell me that I have to get my wisdom teeth pulled. How does she manage that and make the big bucks? What exactly is it that the dentist DOES?!

The hygienist finishes by brushing my teeth with peppermint flavored sand and after a quick spray and suction I am "Good to go until next time... "

Next time? Nope, I have documentation now so I will not forget how much I. Hate. The. Dentist.

Counting down...

I can hardly believe in just three short days I will be on a ship headed to Bermuda!

And of course with my household, this week has been so stressful and hectic. It started out with an ER visit Monday night with Ryker. He spiked an extremely high fever and was completely delirious with a rash on his face and chest.

The last three days we have been coping with this mystery virus, high temps and crankiness and have had several doctors appointments. My poor little man has been poked and prodded numerous times. But in his true spirit, he does not go down without a fight. Monday night it took three of us to hold him down to get a blood draw. And yesterday he kicked the doctor square in the nuts when he tried to swab his throat. My little guy is such a fighter :) Although I don't think the doctor thought it was quite as endearing as I do.

So my bags are almost packed, the house will be completely cleaned to the utmost OCD standards on Saturday and then we will be ready to go!

Ooooooh.... pink sands here I come! Get a Mojito ready for me...

Gearing up...

The last couple of weeks have been very busy.

And I have failed miserably at keeping up with this blog like I promised.

And again, I promise to try harder.

So whats been keeping me so busy?

Well besides the husband, four kids, dog, house to clean, laundry to do, dinner to cook, mouths to clean, earth to save, bathroom to scrub.... ahh the list could go on and on!


I've become ridiculously addicted to two things....

ZUMBA

I start to twitch if I can't make it to one of the four classes I take during the week. For an entire hour I can salsa and cha-cha my buns off (literally) and I feel like I am at some hot-spot night club... minus the roofies and sticky floors! I've lost about 15 pounds in the last two months by watching my calories and channeling my inner latina dancer... what a perfect combo!

COUPONING

I hate feeling like I am missing out on something. So when I started watching TLC's "Extreme Couponing" I felt like I completely missed the boat on a new excuse to shop! And in my true fashion... I can't just do something a "little bit"! I have to become completely OCD about it! And so here I sit now, an official couponer. Not a sale ad, newspaper insert or web coupon can escape my grasp. I am the lady in the line that everyone hates... that takes an hour to check out and has a binder, complete with a filing system to rival the National Archives!

It's completely addictive and I feel like I am getting paid to pursue my favorite pastime, SHOPPING!
Finally, Ken and I are preparing for our 5th Anniversary Bermuda Cruise. I can't even begin to say how excited I am about this trip...to get away from it all, relax on the beach, spend some much needed quality time together and reliving and making memories with my wonderful husband! Two weeks and counting until I will have my freshly pedicured toes buried in that pink sand!!


I wonder if they have Zumba in Bermuda? Or if I can use coupons aboard the ship?

Ray of Sunshine

April is challenging for me.

April showers may bring May flowers, but it also brings the blues along for me! I can't stand the sunny day teasers only to be let down the next day with thunderstorms.

So after yesterday's glorious rays were followed by rain all morning, I decided to provide myself with my own little taste sunshine.

Ahhhh... the beauty of UV rays. Well I guess technically they aren't suppose to be beautiful, with the whole skin-cancer causing thing... but they are oh-so-glorious to me! I can't help but feel good when the warmth of the lamps are beating down on me! They light up my goggles and my soul! Not to mention the sun-kissed bronze glow I am enjoying in the middle of some very rainy days.

So I say anything that is this good for my spirit can not be that bad for me... I mean seriously, what do all those doctors and scientists know anyways?

It's time...

Wow... I'm surprised they even let me back on this blog. My poor little neglected red-headed stepchild of a blog...

Well I'm back.

I love writing. I even managed to acquire a couple of readers that enjoyed reading my nonsense! So why not do it. I am sure I can come up with something interesting to say.

Well not right now. That's too much pressure! I just came back for goodness sake!

But soon... I'll have something amazing to say. I hope.

Techno-cool

So how cool am I now? I am blogging from my iPhone... I know, way beyond anything I could normally do on my old antique flip phone I use to have!!

As we enter into a new decade, I resolve to master this iPhone I am now addicted to, devise a family budget we can all live with, get to the gym more often, and only do things that truly make me happy!!

That being said, I'll have to save blogging for the ole PC for now because I have yet to master this damn touch screen that is evidently smarter than me!