This morning my scale and I had a date. After some harsh words and throwing my drink in it's face, the relationship is finally over. I just can't deal with a liar.
Surely it isn't so. Obviously it was the 20 lb. towel I had wrapped around me. So I fully disrobed. Hmm... that Martha Stewart bath sheet has to weigh more than ONE POUND! Something is going on here.
I think it may just be my fat ass.
Whether or not my scale needs to be calibrated, one thing is for sure. I've been packing it on. And of course nobody has the balls enough to tell me.
"No sweetie, that sweater doesn't look like a maternity shirt. Its your stomach that does."
No, my friends are too sweet for that. And my husband? Not a chance. But he does enjoy showing me every notch down on his belt he achieves. My belt tells a sadder story. Four notches ago on my favorite belt, I was at my lowest weight. Just before my wedding two years ago. I've gone up and down on the belt holes in the last months, but this morning when I looked down to see what notch I was entering, I wanted to cry! Or take my belt off and beat my son with it and blame him for the "baby weight". (Ok, not really... you all know me better than that!)
So Ryker is 18 months old now - how long am I allowed to use the excuse "I just had a baby?". Judging from the hoards of friends that literally just had babies and are slinking back into their 'prepregnancy skinny jeans' - I think the excuse has reached its expiration date.
I was doing so well before I moved to Culpeper and my Jazzercise addiction came to a halt. Now anybody that knows me, knows exercise is not my thing. Most of my friends and family would never put exercise, addiction, and Courtney in the same sentence. Shopping, addiction, Courtney... yes, but exercise no.
But I loved it. I loved bouncing around to all the latest songs and pretending I wasn't a mom of four and out at some club instead. I made great friends, sweated a whole lot and dropped quite a few inches. And I miss it. And I miss the fourth notch on my belt too.
Culpeper is great and I love the new house... but Jazzercise is over 35 minutes away at best, so I feel lost with out it. The pounds are not lost though - I need exercise to keep my young girlish figure svelte.
So whats a girl to do? I am forgoing any sodas, chips, ice cream or anything that is generally not good for me but I eat in excess anyways. I am substituting for salads and all things rabbit-esque that might help me slim down a bit.
And as for exercise... well that's where the Christmas wish comes in. I'm not asking for lipo or a tuck (although I would gladly accept if offered)... I want a membership to Powell's Wellness Center. It is the nicest gym facility that offers a whole spectrum of classes that may just help fill my void for Jazzercise.
And since the place is a little swanky, and pricey... I have turned it into my Christmas request. So Hubs, mom and all others who care to contribute - put down your shopping lists and help support the "Courtney Needs a Gym Membership" Fund - hurry before I fall off the belt richter scale!