Wading through all the mindless, talentless fools they parade across the stage next to their equally mindless, talentless fool host Jerry Springer.
I have vowed to boycott the show if my favorite didn't win, and up until this night, I have not had to take such drastic measures.
Tonight was the FINALE of America's Got Talent...
And talent it does have... in the name of my boy... My Neil E. Boyd!
Can you see me doing my little happy dance?
I just love this guy. There is something about his sincerity. I wanna be his friend. I wanna give him a big hug and make him sing for me. Nothing romantic about it - I have my own big boy... but I think Neil and I are soul mates - we have a real connection. In fact, I think he might be searching my blog right now.
The tension and dramatic effect was high for the season finale... the producers had us on the edge of our seats. They cast off the bottom three.. and then there were two.
Eli Mattson and Neil E. Boyd stood on the stage together... cue the smoke and dim the lights...
Jerry Springer - "And this years winner of America's Got Talent is.... " (insert game show music here and a very long agonizing pause... )
You are waiting with baited breath, right?!?
Yeah, so was I... sitting on the edge of my seat with my fingers in my mouth nearly biting my nails off. My mind flashed back through all of Neil's incredible performances. I thought, how could America be so cruel, to bring my sweet teddy bear so close, only to take it all away... it wasn't possible...
I gritted my teeth and prepared myself for the outcome.. and then...
The friggin TiVo gets a mind of its own and flips to FX.
And I lose my mind. Now I will admit in hindsight, I may have possibly overreacted just a scoutch... but I thought my husband was screwing with me. So I practically propelled myself into his lap mid-scream...
"Its not f*cking funny Ken!" - (note I never call him by his name unless I am really pissed - its always baby or Kenny)
Ken, trying to speak through his laughter- "I didn't do anything - it flipped over to record Sons of Anarchy" ... which is by the way- quite possibly the most pointless show on FX these days, I can't stand it - even if Peg Bundy does play a great part as one shady bitch.
And I knew in that moment of TiVo relapse, I had missed my moment... er Neil's moment, or maybe Eli's... I didn't know.
And I did it.
I stomped my feet.
Crossed my arms.
And threw the best 27 year old hissy fit I could muster.
I mean afterall, I had logged alot of man hours into this show. And I missed the big moment, whether it was Neil or not.
The hubs, still in shock from my fit, flipped it back just in time for me to see the confetti falling down on Neil.
He won. Yippee. Hoo-rah.
The moment was gone. And I still had my arms crossed. I pouted for the rest of the show, and only Neil's final note of Nessun Dorma could crack my stone face.
At least my guy won.
"Ken" on the other hand is still being punished for finding my fit and the TiVo mishap so friggin hilarious. And as for TiVo - you're in time out too.