A Typical Saturday Morning

7 Am - Ryker didn't get the memo that Mommy had too much wine at Suz's house last night and needs to sleep in.

7:22 Am - Mommy elbows Daddy to alert him to the baby's screams, that are growing more desperate with each passing second.

7:29 Am - Daddy stumbles out of bed and goes to get "his son".

7:30 Am - Daddy returns to the bedroom with whining baby, who is no longer crying, but saying Mama incessantly.

8:10 Am - Mommy finally crawls out of bed after an extensive game of elbow hockey with Ryker - several bruised ribs and a black eye later - she concedes that sleeping in is not going to happen today.

8:14 Am - Ryker throws the bottle of Excedrin that Mommy so desperately needs in the toilet. Mommy's rage and screams finally get Daddy out of bed.

8:20 Am - Kids are eating breakfast, Ryker is smashing banana all over himself and his highchair. Mommy drinks coffee and searches for another bottle of Excedrin.

8:45 Am - Ryker empties out the dog food bowl on the floor, gets his butt smacked and positioned in time out.

9:30 Am - Daddy slinks downstairs, uncertain of the state of mind that Mommy is in this morning. He quietly eats his eggs, knowingly walking on metaphorical egg shells.

10:10 Am - Daddy leaves for Marshall to fix his brakes and rectify the dead sticker he has been riding around with for three weeks.

10:40 Am - Evidently Mommy spends too much time checking email - because this is how Gena and Ryker have been spending the last bit of their morning -

"Lets not tell Daddy about the sparkly skirt and pedicure, Ok Gena?"




"Ryker, please stop twirling. Yes, yes... it is very pretty. Let's go watch some football, son."