Monday, July 11, 2011

I. Hate. The. Dentist.

So much that I haven't been in two years.

It is funny how much time can make you forget. Like after childbirth, you forget all about the agony you just went through when you look at that little smiling pudgy face.

I am writing this so I DO NOT FORGET. I hate the dentist. It is agony.

It is a sick and horrible chorus of drills and suction and scraping. It is the nauseating smell of latex gloves. The headache you get from squinting from the either the spotlight they shine on your mouth or to dodge the water sprays. The horrible taste of blood in your mouth. The white knuckles and numb toes from gripping within an inch of your circulation.

And it is the hygienist that smiles and politely asks while digging and prodding and making you bleed if you have been flossing. No bitch, that would be why you are scraping my soul out from between my teeth.

Thankfully the dentist pops in for a 60 second interruption to tell me that I have to get my wisdom teeth pulled. How does she manage that and make the big bucks? What exactly is it that the dentist DOES?!

The hygienist finishes by brushing my teeth with peppermint flavored sand and after a quick spray and suction I am "Good to go until next time... "

Next time? Nope, I have documentation now so I will not forget how much I. Hate. The. Dentist.

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